While I'm Waiting

I would like to continue the thought process from Anna’s post yesterday, though I was unable to read the web pages due to a computer malfunction. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in who we want our future spouse to be. I try not to have anything superfluous on my list, like saying he has to have eyes or hair of a certain color, be a certain height, or anything superficial. Central to my list are things like faith, conviction, and morals. These things are not to be compromised, and when we lower our standards, we are only asking for trouble.
However, that doesn’t mean we can expect perfection, either. Marriage is a working relationship; your spouse isn’t there for your personal enjoyment. Rather, you are called to serve him or her, seeking to become more like Christ.
Here are some things that are on my list, and that go for both guys and girls:
Someone who is a Christian. This almost goes without saying. But there are those who think that they can change the person they are interested in, and maybe he or she will become a Christian later. However, the Bible says to not be unequally yoked. If God wants you to marry the person, He will change him or her before you get in a relationship.
Someone who makes God a priority. If you’re not running after God with all that is within you, that’s not going to be attractive to a godly person. Girls want a spiritual leader to whom they can look for advice and a good example. Guys want someone who is seriously in love with Jesus and will look to them for spiritual guidance. We are to “spur each other on” toward the finish line, always pursuing perfection. God needs to be the center of your life. Just trying to squeeze Him in around your other activities isn’t sufficient. He should be your whole world.
Someone who treats his mother and/or sisters, and her father and/or brothers, in a godly, respecting, loving way. They say the way a guy treats the females in his life (not including his girlfriend) is the way he’ll treat his wife one day. If he treats them like meat or trash or something equally derogatory, he makes himself look like a jerk (and he is). But if he is a gentleman in respect to all the women he encounters—including those older than he, his peers, and those younger than he—that shows that he’s someone worthy of a wife. The same thing goes for girls and the way they treat the males in their lives. Does she treat her father like dirt? There’s a good chance she’ll treat her husband the same way.
These are the core of what I look for in a man. I think they are nonnegotiable, and a man of character will possess these traits. But they also function as a mirror in which I can examine myself. Do I make God a priority in my life? Is He really the center? Or do I get so busy with life that I push Him aside? And do I treat my family in a God-honoring way? There are a lot of things I can work on, and I have plenty to focus on while I wait for God to bring my man along. May He bless you as you wait for that special person, and may you grow in grace and wisdom as you seek to grow more like Jesus.