An Emotional Prayer

While Waiting, I wonder

While Hoping, I imagine

While resting, I rail

At the impatience within myself

At the impurity consuming me

At the imperfections all around me

But why?

Why? I ask, over and over

Why?

I must know

Why am I so given to selfish desires?

Why am I so impatient with others?

Why must I wait for these things—trying my hardest,

When all I want is to love You more

I want

To show that I love You

To show that I am not enough without You

To show that everything I do well is from You

To show that I love You more than myself

When I know that so often,

That’s not the truth.

I want

To know that while I wait, You are working

To know that while I Hope, You are there

To know that while I rest, You are holding me.

But so often, I can’t feel You there

I can’t see You

Or touch You

Or hear You

Or feel You

But I know that You are there

Because You have said it

And You are Truth

And I will trust in You